I've decided to to be open with the whole experience, not just the fun and interesting parts. I write this not to get sympathy or anything, but to remember that moving here hasn't always been fun. I have been better at blogging than writing in my journal lately. So this is how it's going to get recorded right now.
I now feel that the long vacation is over, but we aren't home in Carthage. I knew this would come. It happened when we moved to Carthage, and I missed Columbus. I'm not homesick all the time, and I'm not depressed about it. It comes it waves and the smallest things can trigger it. I'll read a story to the kids and suddenly I'll remember reading that story to Big E on the couch in our house in Carthage and I'll want to cry. (I don't miss the couch at all :) I still think it was the ugliest couch ever.) I think of my friends and miss them. I'll sing a Primary song to Miss A and remember that the primary in Carthage sang that for the program last fall and I'll want to cry. I miss being familiar with a place, knowing where I could find things (and being able to go get it when I wanted to if it was farther than walking distance). I know Carthage didn't offer much in the way of things to do during a hot day, but I miss that there were some places to go, like the library. I miss color. In the morning if I look out the kitchen window the wall fencing in our back patio is tan, the sky is tan (didn't know the sky could look tan, but it can), the LuLu Express (small grocery store) which we can see the top of from the window is tan. If I go outside, all of our villas are the same withe the same tan colors. Even the dirt is tan. (Now I say I miss color, and I do. But I'd rather a tan villa that the other colors I've seen. There have only been two other colors: Salmon and Coral. No thank you.)
Skyping has helped a ton. Timing can be odd. So far we've found that we can skype with family early morning for us, which would be night for them (so 6 am here is 10pm in OK or 9pm in UT) or after about 3 pm here (which is 7 am in OK and 6 am in UT... just for those who were wondering and didn't want to figure it out :) ).
And though I miss home and family and friends and yes, I do want to go home, I don't want to give up yet. I'd feel like a failure. I'd be embarrassed to have us come home early just because I miss home. We've just started. It's only been two weeks. People say to give it 6 months in order to feel settled in. And that's about how long it took to feel like Carthage was home. So I look forward to February...and my birthday.
I now feel that the long vacation is over, but we aren't home in Carthage. I knew this would come. It happened when we moved to Carthage, and I missed Columbus. I'm not homesick all the time, and I'm not depressed about it. It comes it waves and the smallest things can trigger it. I'll read a story to the kids and suddenly I'll remember reading that story to Big E on the couch in our house in Carthage and I'll want to cry. (I don't miss the couch at all :) I still think it was the ugliest couch ever.) I think of my friends and miss them. I'll sing a Primary song to Miss A and remember that the primary in Carthage sang that for the program last fall and I'll want to cry. I miss being familiar with a place, knowing where I could find things (and being able to go get it when I wanted to if it was farther than walking distance). I know Carthage didn't offer much in the way of things to do during a hot day, but I miss that there were some places to go, like the library. I miss color. In the morning if I look out the kitchen window the wall fencing in our back patio is tan, the sky is tan (didn't know the sky could look tan, but it can), the LuLu Express (small grocery store) which we can see the top of from the window is tan. If I go outside, all of our villas are the same withe the same tan colors. Even the dirt is tan. (Now I say I miss color, and I do. But I'd rather a tan villa that the other colors I've seen. There have only been two other colors: Salmon and Coral. No thank you.)
Skyping has helped a ton. Timing can be odd. So far we've found that we can skype with family early morning for us, which would be night for them (so 6 am here is 10pm in OK or 9pm in UT) or after about 3 pm here (which is 7 am in OK and 6 am in UT... just for those who were wondering and didn't want to figure it out :) ).
And though I miss home and family and friends and yes, I do want to go home, I don't want to give up yet. I'd feel like a failure. I'd be embarrassed to have us come home early just because I miss home. We've just started. It's only been two weeks. People say to give it 6 months in order to feel settled in. And that's about how long it took to feel like Carthage was home. So I look forward to February...and my birthday.
2 comments:
You will make some friends soon and then you will feel better. That always helps. I felt so lost when we moved to Carthage 10 years ago and now it finally feels like home. It does take time. That is what is nice about the church you have your ward and callings and such. We miss you and your family but know you are there for a reason!
When we moved to Hawaii, I missed having seasons. I felt like I was in a time warp the whole first year (or two, or maybe I should say every fall/winter). It is odd the things you miss when you move somewhere new and far away, in spite of the exciting and beautiful and new things to experience.
I regularly give thanks for Skype in my prayers, what would we do without it?!
I love you and think of you often!
Post a Comment